If only

i could draw as much as i write.
(revised)
i would draw as much as i write.

the colors are callin me.
i pick up.
theres no answer.
theres no dial tone.
just one word.
comfort.
I listen.
it's static like snow
falling.
how did you know
that it was me
callin
(4u)

Shake

Shake this sad feeling off
with burning remains
screaming with the kiss of a flame
pain is the only medicine
to keep me well and keep me going
to fight off the bacteria and the viruses
which keep me down and keep me sick, sometimes.
Nostalgia is a lover that never left my bedside
And your mother, she weeps too at night.

I'm so tired.

My body is weary this roller coaster is making me dizzy and nauseous.
How can i stand on my own two feet without someone behind me?
I need your support to catch me when i fall and when i mess up
and when i feel alone i need a safety net like anyone else who's fallen
I know i've messed up, i tend to move too quickly
I get impatient and need instant gratification.
But these desires cannot be fulfilled with out consequence!
How can i keep from getting ahead of myself?
How do I keep from drowning again?
I'm underwater. Contemplating.
Waiting for a hand to pick me up.
To bring my head to the surface
To breath freely again with gratitude and satisfaction
I can only hope that when the time is right
You'll show me your hand

Well i guess i just don't know

Clouds are in my head and blocking my vision.
I can't see straight and there might be an addiction.
An addict! I was never one before, a scoff and a shrug.
I don't feel safe anymore.
Divulging information to any ear that will listen.
Can you hear me!? Somebody please!
Disgusted but you can't look away.
And you keep watching and listening.
Disgusted and amused.

We whisper in vague and dreamlike terms
trying to cope, with our smoking(etc.) habits.
The early bird receives the worm
and we assume the position of it.
Somewhere far up and in between
the sky and the stars.
We are dreaming and sleeping.
Because I could never prove
that i was ever awake at all.

Clam chowder with crackers and milk
Creamier than the sea is wide!
Taking a dive off of sunken ships
and fowl mouthed sailor men.
The compass hand pointed north
and we went with undergarments in hand.
Land hoe! We've struck it again
with drunken ponies in the sand.
Forever old and full of youth!
the sand in between my toes
and muddy boots.

Amazing light

People have regained their weight(mindfully) again and I'm connected and nostalgic. If I'm the observer then so are you, with a different camera angle. point of view. Without it i might be blind. I remember who and what is important and what they mean to me. just about everything. there's familiarity in likeness. and of course i like you, you're just like me.

7 hours

7 hours of printing. Holy fuck. What have I done?

how many years

How many years did it take to find the sea?
I used to live by it everyday and pretend i was in the movies.
Always in a world of fantasy, where else was i to go?
I caught you waiting for me after a long day
It was a relief to walk side by side for a time and hear the waves
Was it just a dream too?
I can't remember, the days are getting longer.
Time is moving quicker and my longing is getting the best of me.
I miss the sea and it hurts me.

Oh no

don't get cynical now.

Time to brush the teeth that god gave me
Time to comb the hair that god let me borrow from a box
Time to eat the food that god allowed to be processed and placed in a box in the fridge for me to eat.
Time to drive in my god given manufactured car.
god bless god.
for all of these things.
god bless credit cards and cardboard boxes.
and god bless the amount of time it took me to write this